Like Cats and Dogs
by NoodleRamen
Summary: With nothing else to do all day, Izaya decides to fall back on his favourite past time. Bothering Shizuo.


**Like Cats and Dogs**

 _ **Disclaimer: Durarara isn't mine.**_

It was a very dull and cloudy day outside and Ikebukuro looked quite colourless in comparison to it's usual self. Not that Izaya minded. Interesting things still happened even if the weather wasn't great. In some ways it was more fun. With people all crammed indoors the tension would increase making incidents more likely to occur.

Izaya had perched himself on Namie's chair and was staring out of the window with an almost bored expression. Namie wasn't going to be around today and he currently had no appointments. Boredom would be highly likely in this situation. Luckily he had thought ahead and made provisions to deal with this situation.

"Now," Izaya spun around, "what should I do with this?"

In the centre of the room was a thick metal chair, the occupant of which was held into it with thick restraining bars. Of course even this may not be enough. It had apparently taken a lot of tranquilisers to take him down after all. Shizuo was still deeply asleep with a gag in his mouth. This was so he'd have time to actually talk to the man.

Izaya hadn't made any plans for dealing with Shizuo. He wasn't quite sure why he'd bothered to hire the people who had delivered his hostage. Watching him sleeping and completely unaware of where he was and who he was with gave Izaya a real thrill. When he did eventually wake up the entertainment value would be increased.

His extreme reactions and uncontrollable rage made him a fun target for Izaya. This was why he persisted in annoying the man. His actions today definitely went further than usual and he couldn't help but smile to himself. Shizuo started to stir and Izaya readied himself. He hurried back to his own desk chair.

He spun round to ensure that he was facing away from his captive. It was hard not to laugh as he heard some of the noises behind him as Shizuo became more aware of his surroundings. When he was certain that the man was awake he swung the chair around slowly.

"Hey Shizu-chan!" As soon as he realised that it was the hated bastard who had trapped him, the rage became clear on his face. It was lucky that he had gagged the man so the full insults were muffled.

"Is something wrong Shizu-chan? You seem very tense." Although the restraints were made of steel, they seemed to be rattling under the strain of holding violence personified down. Izaya wasn't sure what he would do if they broke.

Normally their altercations were in public places with plenty of escape routes. His office did have a few different exits but they were more limited. Izaya's hand went to his pocket to make sure that his trusty switchblade was on hand, before standing up and lazily wandering towards Shizuo with a bored expression on his face.

"So… I've bought you here because… Well actually I'm undecided. I just felt like having a little chat with you." Izaya pulled Namie's chair from her desk and over to his captive, flipping it round so he sat with his arms crossed over the top of the chair and his head leaning on top. This was very close to Shizuo who was still trying to break the bonds.

"So Shizu-chan, any ideas?" Izaya put a hand behind his ear and pretended to listen to Shizuo's muffled threats. "Sorry I can't hear you, you'll have to speak up."

It was amusing to see how angry he really was. Shizuo was always so exaggerated in his reactions. Although this situation was one of the few times that his anger was fully justified. His whole hatred could technically be justified when it came to Izaya since he had gotten him arrested.

There was a slight creaking noise and he glanced down. One of the leg restraints was starting to come loose. It seemed that time was running out.

"I really dislike you, you know." He continued to stare at Shizuo still with that bored expression on his face. "I can't reason with you or use logic. You're just violent. I can't understand you at all." For someone who liked using information to get what he wanted, someone who was immune to this strategy was difficult to deal with.

Another crack, louder this time and the metal band around Shizuo's right foot was forcibly removed. With cat like grace, Izaya hopped up and moved back still locking eyes with Shizuo and smiling his usual inane smile.

This had the desired effect in that it made Shizuo even more furious and had the rest of the bands around his leg and most of those on his other leg bursting off.

"Do you think that for once we could talk things through? Play a board game perhaps?" Shizuo's response was to pull his right arm loose and begin ripping off the other restraints. "I'll take that as a no."

 _I knew I should've used stronger restraints. And packed more sedatives._ Finally freed, Shizuo reached up and removed the gag.

"Iiiiizaaayaaa!" He always said his name in the same growling tone "You piece of shit! I'll kill you!" Izaya watched calmly as Shizuo grabbed Namie's desk and ripped it off the floor. With a sigh he pulled his switchblade from his pocket and readied it. Time to go through the usual routine it seemed.

Shizuo swung the desk across and Izaya sidestepped nimbly, narrowly avoiding being partially crushed. Shizuo then swing round and flung the desk across the room.

Izaya ducked and the desk flew over his head and smashed through the thick window taking up the outer wall of his apartment. Someone on the street below was about to have a very nasty shock.

Whilst the beserk man went about finding another weapon, Izaya attempted to skip over to one of the doors. This didn't go unnoticed by Shizuo who grabbed a potted plant and threw it full strength just in front of where he was running, denting the wall.

"That wasn't very nice Shizu-chan, that was one of my favourite plants."

"Why the hell should I care?!" Finally deciding on the lamp, Shizuo grabbed it, wrenching it's socket out of the wall and charging towards him with it raised above his head. Izaya moved to the left and as Shizuo went to bring the lamp down on his head, pushed the knife forward and forced the tip through the man's waist coat. The point of this went just into the man's abdomen. Both of them stopped.

"It would seem we have reached an impasse." Izaya continued to keep calm whilst Shizuo continued to practically twitch with rage.

"I'm gonna break every bone in your twisted little body!"

"Have you ever considered anger management?"

"I wouldn't be angry if I destroyed you." This was the closest they'd gotten to an actual conversation before.

"You're so illogical." Currently he was stuck. If he pulled the knife back to leave, dear old Shizu would crush his head. If he stabbed the man he would still crush his head. A minor stab wouldn't kill this guy after all.

As he pondered this conundrum, Izaya's eyes alighted on a book. It was a light novel. Recently due to boredom he had bought a lot of these books. His love of people meant that he enjoyed some of these fiction books, even if they couldn't hold a candle to real life drama.

The particular book he was currently glancing at had a picture of a couple on the front of it. It was very boring and he had an idea that Namie had been reading it. As currently had no better ideas he decided to take inspiration from this and leant into Shizuo. Normally a head butt would be likely but before this could be done, Izaya kissed him. The rage, confusion and embarrassment completely paralysed Shizuo and Izaya used this to pull back and slip out. When Shizuo noticed this he quickly came to his senses and charged off in the direction he thought the man had gone.

It was not long after this that Namie returned to the office. With a deadpan expression she surveyed the damage caused by her employer and his rage-filled house guest.

… _I hate my job._

-Page Break-

 _That bastard. That irritating bastard._ Shizuo was storming down the street, rage making him blind to the rain slowly soaking through his waistcoat. It wasn't surprising that he was angry after what had just happened. Izaya had pestered him continuously from the moment they had first met each other. And there was no reason for it at all. It seemed he was doing it for the sheer malicious enjoyment.

The majority of people avoided him anyway but today there was a large clearing around him in the street. All he felt was anger and so with no particular destination in mind, he headed to West Gate Park, punching a few vending machines as he went. The trail of wreckage made it very clear as to where he had gone.

The park was pretty deserted and he sighed deeply. Anger was something he had no control over and it frustrated him. He could understand why people avoided him. Very few people weren't terrified of him. One of these exceptions was currently standing at one of the entrances to the park and tapping something out on a phone in her hand.

"Celty." Hearing Shizuo's voice she glanced up and quickly typed out a greeting. "Have you seen that prick Izaya?"

" _Not recently no!"_ Celty tapped out the reply quickly. Anyone else would notice that she was slightly flustered. She couldn't bring herself to tell him that she was meeting the information broker soon.

This wasn't out of loyalty to Izaya. The guy was an A-grade prick. The problem was that Shizuo tended to go a bit over the top and she didn't want to have to intervene.

"I'm gonna kill him when I find him." He slammed his fists together and cracked his knuckles. "The bastard tied me to a chair!"

" _Really? With rope?"_ Celty couldn't imagine that lasting very long.

"Steel."

" _Oh._ " That she could imagine. She also wasn't surprised that Shizuo had managed to break out. " _Are you ok?"_

"Why wouldn't I be?"

" _No reason…"_ Of course he wouldn't be harmed by this. Anyone who could toss a vending machine thirty feet in the air wouldn't be phased by being imprisoned.

"Well anyway, if you see that guy can you tell me?"

" _Sure."_ Her main aim was to get rid of Izaya as soon as he arrived. It was supposed to be a day off and she wasn't pleased that he'd called her out. Being around him for too long screwed with your head or irritated you.

Waving at her as he went, Shizuo started heading back into the park. This was fortunate for him as a certain person was currently skipping in his direction.

Izaya was in a fairly good mood. He had managed to escape from Shizuo and had really pissed him off. The kissing was also good in that it was a brand new way to irritate his rage filled rival.

As Izaya had a very distinct walk, he stood out amongst the crowds. This provided Shizuo with an easy target at which to aim the bin. It missed by a very narrow margin.

"Iiiizaayaaa!"

"Twice in one day? I guess you can't get enough of me." Izaya reached into his pocket for the switchblade.

"I'm gonna break you." He grabbed the nearest street sign and pulled it out of the ground.

"That looks pretty heavy Shizu-chan. Are you sure we can't just talk about it? It might help you let off some steam."

"I just want to pummel you!" His grip tightened on the steel bar and he could feel the metal bending under his fingers.

"I thought as much." With a sigh he held the knife ready and ducked to the right to avoid the sign being slammed down in front of him. This time he would be quicker in dealing with the situation.

Izaya barely gave Shizuo the time to punch him before he kissed him. And as Shizuo had been just about to speak, he managed to get a bit of tongue in there. Of course he pulled it back quickly to avoid getting it bitten off.

When Izaya was about to skip off and Shizuo was getting over the shock, they noticed a spectator. Celty had seen the bin flying through the air and so had rushed over to make sure no one got hurt. What she saw had her in awe.

" _I'm so sorry! I'm interrupting!"_

"What?!" Shizuo's attention was diverted by this insinuation. Something she had said didn't seem right.

" _I didn't realise you two were like that!"_ This caused his brain to suddenly click.

"No we're not, he's-!"

"No need to be shy Shizu-chan." At this point it probably wasn't wise to taunt him but the humour value made it worth it.

" _Congratulations!"_ Celty then dashed off to allow them some privacy. She wouldn't like someone bothering her and Shinra after all.

"Ah!" Shizuo stood staring at her retreating figure, his hand reaching out to stop her. A serious misunderstanding had occurred. Izaya was laughing pretty hard.

"You… Why won't you die?!" He grabbed another bin and wrenched it out of the ground, Izaya dancing out of the way.

"I've got a few things to do so see you later Shizu-chan."

"That's not my damn name!" And so they chased each other off into the sunset.

 _ **This is my first Durarara fanfic and a birthday present for my friend Phoebs. Happy Birthday Phoe, hope you like it :3**_


End file.
